Saturday, November 04, 2006

Well My-my!

According to Harper’s Magazine (May 2005, Soldiers of Christ, Inside America's most powerful megachurch with Pastor Ted Haggard), Pastor Ted "talks to President George W. Bush or his advisers every Monday." So what do you reckon they talk about? Do they discuss who will advise and counsel God and sit at His right hand when they come to their final reward—Ted or George? Or do they trade stories about what is the best high—buying meth and not using it or buying booze and not drinking it? Or do they get all overheated trying to figure out which male hooker they have known and not had sex with is the very very best—Jeffy Jim Gannon-Guckert or Mike Jones? Oh! To be a fly on the wall at that every Monday unburdening-the-soul-and prayer session! But even more interesting than that…or at least as interesting, was a little poll a Ratbang reader discovered on Al-Jazeera, the Arabic and English language television channel and website. POLL Is Iraq right to extend the presence of US forces for another year? Yes : 32% No : 59% Don't know : 9% Number of pollers : 15046 So…Iraq decides every year if US forces will stay or go? Who knew? My-My Number Two! So all this crap about whether we should send more occupying-force troops into Iraq has just been crap? So all the stay-the-course or cut-and-run crap has been crap? So it’s always been up to Iraq whether we stay or go? And this year they want us to go? Well shut my mouth and call me speechless! What sly boots our little Bush administration has turned out to be. Now they can cut-and-run and leave Iraq in the lurch and let civil war rage undeterred and let the terrorism devils plot and scheme with unholy wrath and blow the entire Middle East to smithereens if they want to because it’s what the Iraqis want. You’re off the hook, George. What are you waiting for? Well, okay…on Monday you can talk it over with Ted-the Ready-and-Willing, but let’s go…let’s get out of that quagmire. And you could make your announcement on Tuesday, November 7th.

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