Monday, November 13, 2006

Mr. Ratfucker Is Not One To Gloat

Indeed, Mr. Ratfucker feels that the unabashed satisfaction the writer of Ratbang Diary has taken in the recent crushing blows sustained by the Republican Party is unseemly. However, Mr. Ratfucker admits, this writer has been incredibly prescient over the past two years about the GOP downfall and that it would be understandable for one to exhibit a modicum of pleasure at being right. If not, in fact, very, very fucking right. Mr. Ratfucker says he’s been feeling a bit nostalgic lately about what he calls “the good old days” when Ratbang Diary was called Ratfuck Diary. He’s been reading some of the old Ratfucks and Mr. Ratfucker would like to state once again that he wouldn't have changed the name to pander to prissy twits if he had personally gotten ratfucked by Karl Rove, WHIG and Dick Cheney in a White House ratfuck orgy. And once again, Mr. Ratfucker’s displeasure has been noted. Mr. Ratfucker would like to mention that he feels a blanket Roy Cohn Award should be presented to the entire White House staff since picking just one stellar recipient would be difficult if not impossible. As older readers of Ratfuck…um…Ratbang know, Roy Cohn was Senator Joseph McCarthy’s (R-WI-1947-1957) lawyer-henchman who persecuted gays even though he and McCarthy both were gay. Mr. Ratfucker, in his nostalgic trip through Ratfuck memories, is particularly fond of the February 22, 2005 Ratfuck column, headlined, “Two 800-Pound Gorillas Sit in the White House”. The lead paragraph said, “And we’re not supposed to look at or talk about either one. Gorilla No. 1 is the President’s health problems...mental and physical. Gorilla No. 2 is the increasing evidence that the Bush administration is up to its neck in Roy Cohns.” In addition, Ratfuck said, “Maybe the White House has tried to turn a gay hooker (Jeff Gannon) legit so he won’t let the cat out of the bag about all the Roy Cohns in the administration. As Bill Maher said last Friday night...was Jeff Gannon going to ‘spill the beans while the beans?’ You can’t ignore two 800-pound gorillas forever.” Mr. Ratfucker says he definitely is not gloating. It’s just that he’s been re-reading Ratfucks. Like the November 3, 2004 post, “Can You Win When the Other Side Cheats?” Ratfuck said: “I’m assuming the final count in Ohio and Florida will go to George W. Bush. I’m assuming that because the GOP wanted it so much and had so little faith in Bush’s ability to win honestly that they stacked the deck in both states…The thing you (Democrats) do win is the ghoulish satisfaction of watching an undeserved victory turn to dust. I have faith in the law of karma more than I have faith in organized religion. What goes around comes around. If Bush in fact has been elected President of the United States, have a little patience. The unraveling is about to start.” Mr. Ratfucker says he has a small bit of advice for the Republican Party: Don’t waste a lot of energy trying to find someone to blame for the downfall of the Republican Party, just look in the mirror.

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