Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Three Facts You Can Take To The Bank

1) The White House always lies all the time. Therefore, it's a lie that the White House raised a fuss about the Koran-in-the-toilet article in Newsweek because the incident caused a riot in Afghanistan. The event no doubt happened, but it did not cause the ruckus in Afghanistan. You can count on that. The White House is consistent. It always lies. The other thing you can count on is that the real facts will come out about what caused the uproar in Afghanistan. 2) The President is irrelevant. The President wasn't told about the small-plane crisis last week because he was reportedly riding his mountain bike in a remote area. The real reason is that he is so unimportant in the WH scheme of things they forgot him. The place where George-the-Useless rides his bike is close to the center of action in Washington, DC. The President is only suited up when he's needed for appearances sake; otherwise, he's beside the point. 3) In September the NYT is going to begin charging a fee to read its OP/Ed columnists online and no one will care. Why should we? The definition of a nanosecond will be, the amount of time it takes for bloggers to cut-and-paste the NYT OpEd columns onto free net sites. The NYT says it will be vigilant and will put a stop to it. How?

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