Ten Commandments for Churchy Folk

1) Do not tell me God Will Provide if you have a nice income and are financially secure.

2) If I say my life is shitty, do not put on a holy face and recite a list of guilt-inducing questions starting with “Do you have your health? Do you have enough to eat today?” I say those things to myself every day, so bug off.

3) If I say money is really tight and I’m having trouble paying my bills, do not tell me about the welfare and social services programs I should be availing myself of when I know you have enough-and-to-spare and I know you think folks on welfare are drones and loafers.

4) Do not tell me what Jesus would do if he were President of the United States. Churchy folk would crucify him before he got elected Dog Catcher.

5) Do not tell me what Jesus would do if he were old, female and living in Philadelphia. That thought is the first laugh I’ve had today.

6) Do not ever suggest that God gives a fuck about the rites being observed in any religious building anywhere on this planet.

7) Do not ever suggest that God gives a fuck if I cuss, or if I cuss at Him.

8) Do not tell me what God wants. Churchy folk have no idea what God wants.

9) If you have never been hungry, down to your last dollar with no prospects, evicted, demeaned and reviled for being poor, do not tell me people on welfare have no right to drink beer and play slot machines.. And if you have been there, are now solvent and feel government programs for the poor use money stolen from you, SHAME ON YOU!

10)Do not speak to me about “the deserving poor” as opposed to people you don’t think deserve government help. I particularly don’t want to hear it from churchy folk