Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Why Does Cheney Persist in Lying?

Well, the first reason Vice President Cheney keeps on lying is because he’s a dangerous psychopath. And he should be committed to a real mental institution rather than be allowed to run the psychopath-enabling White House Insane Asylum. But the second reason Cheney keeps on telling lies is because the strategy has worked flawlessly in the past. Why should he change his modus operandi now? It has been the practice of the Bush administration to make wildly untrue statements in the belief that any statement would become true as soon as the executive branch of the United States government declared it to be true. And for five years of George W. Bush’s two terms, the mainstream media participated in this deception. When the White House made a false statement the MSM slavishly repeated it with no regard to actual facts. Now, however, the MSM is starting to discredit the White House fiction department, thanks to the changeover in the Senate and White House from a Repub to a Dem majority. And thanks to the real facts constantly being printed in blogs. But Cheney is stuck with the old MO, which had worked in the past. It must be astounding for the Vice President to claim on CNN that things are not terrible in Iraq, that the US has had great success in Iraq, and that the president’s new plan will solve the security problems, only to have every major news source say that Cheney is at best, in denial or at worst, out of his gourd. And now, we have ex-press secretary Ari Fleischer (called “the public face of the White House for nearly three years” by the New York Times this morning) spilling the beans. Fleischer testified about White House shenanigans in Special Prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald’s trial to prove that Cheney’s chief of staff Scooter Libby lied to FBI agents and a grand jury and obstructed justice in a federal investigation. No one could be more cool than Fleischer who has an immunity agreement. He has given Libby’s defense team absolutely nothing but he always gave them full answers. Ari Fleischer is an artful dodger in spades. But his answers to the prosecution were a great blow to Libby's defense. I can’t wait to see Cheney in the witness chair. He will lie, of course. But there is no way he can be as creatively evasive as Ari Fleischer. I would love to know the contents of the cocktail of meds Cheney will be given the day he’s on the witness stand. And there’s another thing I would love to know. Does Cheney have a regular make-up person on staff, who keeps him looking if not healthy, at least alive? Or does he hire make-up people ad hoc? And how far down does the make-up go? Just to his collar or all the way to his clavicle? And do they make up his hands too? I wonder if Fitzgerald will give Cheney time to pop pills and wait until they kick in if the need arises? And wouldn’t it be fun if Cheney collapsed while giving his false testimony? Oh, and I wonder how many of his team of lawyers aren’t actually lawyers but are doctors? We may never know the answers to these questions. Then again, we may.

1 comment:

Barry Schwartz said...

Hmm, maybe on the day he's supposed to testify Cheney can do a Michael Jackson and go to the ER instead.

Anyway I imagine he'll be on a beta blocker or the like, plus he'll have his nitro pills handy.