A Few Laughs With Our Morning Coffee

The New York Times outlined the main points in the President’s State of the Union speech tonight: 1) A plan to help states provide health care coverage to people who lack insurance by diverting federal aid from hospitals, especially public institutions. 2) Proposals to address the nation’s energy needs and global warming, 3) Renew his call for an overhaul of immigration law and to propose altering tax policies to help the uninsured. Those dead-on-arrival ideas will take up 20 minutes of the SOTUS. The other 20 minutes will be devoted to dead-on-arrival ideas about Iraq. White House counselor Bartlett provided a knee-slapper when the NYT quoted him saying, “The power of the ideas requires people to take notice and take seriously important domestic initiatives…there will be key signals to the American people that despite disagreements over the war, other work can be done.” Bartlett added that a major theme of the SOTUS would be that “divided government does not mean we cannot govern.” Then Tony Snow topped Bartlett’s hoot-for-the-day when Snow attributed the president‘s newest low-approval rating (28%) to “discouragement over Iraq that could be overcome at home.” Snow said, “George W. Bush as a president, is not somebody who is going to cease to be bold because people are concerned about the progress of the war. Instead he understands his obligation as commander in chief is to go ahead and address forthrightly big problems and come up with solutions that not only are going to have political appeal, but they’re also going to be effective in making life better for Americans.” ROTFLMFAO. Political appeal? Making life better for Americans? Oh gasp! Oh wiping my eyes! Give me a minute. And looky here, for the first time in weeks, the name Karl Rove appeared in a news story. The Washington Post said, “White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove said Bush will challenge Congress to put up its own plan if it does not like his ‘new way forward,’ according to people who were briefed.” That’s very funny, in an odd, is-Karl-in-a-coma? way. There is no “if” about it, Karl. Congress flat-out and vociferously does not like Bush’s plan. Nobody likes Bush’s plan. And everyone who is not asleep has put up an alternate plan starting with the Iraq Study Group’s plan. Then there’s the “bring the American troops home tomorrow” plan. There’s the “stop funding the war in Iraq” plan. There’s the “let the Iraqis solve their own problems” plan. There’s the “impeach the jackasses who got us into this and bring the troops home” plan. There are so many alternate plans, Karl, all you have to do is throw a dart in the air and you’ll hit a plan that is not George Bush’s plan. But the final laugh in the news today was the NYT’s tag line: “The new initiatives will require a political push by Mr. Bush, who will begin touring the nation to promote his policies on Wednesday.” Way to go, George. We can't wait to watch you fumble, fumfer, stutter, rant and ramble your way around the nation. You'll be giving work to stand-up comics for weeks to come.