Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Whatta Valentine! Thanks Dick!

VP Cheney is a sick dreary old man but he’s been fairly successful at covering up exactly how sick dreary and old he is. But now we know about the platoon of medical people and ambulances following him wherever he goes. Which may include, as Jon Stewart suggested, the entire cast of ER. Cheney likes to be known as an outdoors type who loves to hunt. But now we know he favors shooting quail that have been especially raised to be let loose and shot by sick dreary old men. Cheney may well be the deadeye Dick alluded to by former senator (R-WY) Alan Simpson, but as Simpson said, now people will only remember this incident in South Texas. Right you are, Alan. People will definiately remember that Vice President Dick Cheney mistook an old Texas lawyer for a tiny fleeing game bird and drilled him with birdshot. And they’ll remember a few other things: Although Cheney was the guest of Katharine Armstrong who George W. Bush had appointed to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Commission, which regulates hunting. And although Cheney’s loudmouth flack and advisor, Mary Matalin, couldn’t wait to claim that Cheney had all the permits, sanctions, approvals, licenses and necessary accouterments and documents to allow him to hunt tiny caged birds trying to flee for their lives, still, he didn’t have the $7 stamp that said he could hunt especially-raised quail on a 50,000 acre ranch in South Texas owned by Katharine Armstrong. How come? Although Katharine Armstrong said Harry Whittington was just fine, and that he may have been a little dazed but he was really and truly fine and there was hardly any blood at all, Whittington has been in intensive care. How come? Although the White House staff, including the medical team, brace of ambulances, secret service cadre and assorted flunkeys and yes-persons say that it was up to Katharine Armstrong to inform the press that the Vice President had shot a Texas lawyer in the face, neck and chest, it took 24 hours for Cheney’s office to officially inform the public that the Vice President had acted like a 12-old with his first BB gun and had blasted an old man in the face, neck and chest. How come? Maybe this is the way Cheney’s world ends…with a bang and a whimper.

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