Another Deathwatch Orgy

There are 293 million people in the USA. Of those 293 million, 66 million are of the Roman Catholic persuasion. The Pope is the spiritual leader for 66 million Roman Catholics…for the rest of us…he is only one more head of one more religion. And yet…there is not one news station or newspaper that is not in a frenzied game of deathwatch excess over the Pope's last moments. And everyone is praying. Even our born-again Prez and Mrs. Prez are praying for the Pope, Why, I am not sure. If you believe in the folk-myth that St. Peter stands at the gates of heaven to admit or turn aside all recently dead Christians. And if you believe all Popes are the successors to the first rock upon which Jesus founded his church--Peter-- then Peter is not about to turn a Pope aside, is he? Although, considering some of the shenanigans in the Roman Catholic Church, it's just as well that security is tight at the gates of heaven. If you asked George W. Bush why he's praying for the Pope, what would he say? That he's asking his best-buddy God to restore the Pope to health? Would he say that the Vatican is committing murder by letting nature take its course? Would he say all Christians must plea to his friend God to keep the Vatican from murdering the Pope? The New Advent newsletter has this headline: Let us pray for our Sovereign Pontiff John Paul, the Lord preserve him and give him life, and make him blessed upon the earth, and deliver him not up to the will of his enemies. Amen. What does that mean? Who knows? God-biz language doesn't have to make sense. Yesterday a few Italian newspapers said the Pope had flatlined. The Vatican says the Pope is in and out. The AP says he's not dead yet. I'm betting he's dead. I'm betting the Vatican didn't want to vie with Terri Schiavo for column-one. Since the Pope went into a decline on Friday, and since Jesus was crucified on Friday and arose on Sunday, I'm betting the Vatican will announce on Sunday that the Pope has shuffled off his mortal coil. And then, brothers and sisters, after another three days of not being able to turn on your TV because it's been taken hostage by Pope canonizers, Pope storytellers and Pope groupies of all sorts and shapes. After being up to your eyeballs in false piety, false grief and pretense, then brothers and sisters, some of the nastiest pushing and shoving and politicking the world has ever seen will take place as the College of Cardinals in the Roman Curia decides who the next Pope will be. The Vatican has admitted to a few murders having taken place over electing a Pope. But the Vatican has always denied the murder of little Pope John Paul I (Albino Luciani) who lived only 33 days of his Popedom in 1978 before his untimely demise. It was then that the present Pope, Pope John Paul II was elected. I confess right here and now. I absolutely believe John Paul I was murdered. Read up on it…it's a fascinating story. So…once the mourning is over…things may become very interesting over there in the Vatican, the seat of the Holy Roman Empire.