Friday, June 08, 2007


First, I despise eHarmony founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren’s face. He either has the worst facelift in the world, or botox has failed him. Second, I despise the man’s shit-eating smile. Third, Dr. Warren’s smarmy, unctuous voice in the eHarmony ads is an offense against my ears. Fourth, Warren’s manipulative, seductive manner sends out pedophile signals even though I am sure that is not one of his sins. To me, the eHarmony ads are so annoying they make Head On look and sound benign and soothing. When I heard that eHarmony was being sued it made me ecstatic. Warren started his online matchmaking service eHarmony in 2000. He has all the credentials a relationship counselor needs: BA Social Sciences, Pepperdine University (1956) MDiv, Princeton Theological Seminary (1959) PhD Clinical Psychology, University of Chicago (1967) Professor Fuller Theological Seminary (1967) Former Dean Fuller Theological Seminary Grad. School of Psychology (1975-82) Married for 48 years to the same woman. They have three daughters. Warren has written tons of self-help books, a few of which are: “God Said It, Don’t Sweat It”,”Finding the Love of Your Life” and “Catching the Rhythm of Love”. One of Warren’s best friends is evangelical Christian zealot James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. But back in 2005, Warren started to pull away from his public association with Dobson. All that fire and brimstone and Dobson’s high political profile were not compatible with Warren’s avuncular style. So. What could be wrong with Warren and eHarmony, other than his doughy face, his oily manner, his treacly message and his manipulative tone? On May 31, 2007 Linda Carlson brought a lawsuit against eHarmony for being anti-gay and for discriminating against gays and lesbians. Carlson’s lawyers say they expect a significant number of gays and lesbians to join the class action. They want unspecified damages for those “denied eHarmony services based on their sexual orientation”, and they want eHarmony to end its discriminatory practices. EHarmony says the allegations of discrimination against gays are false and reckless. “The research that eHarmony has developed, through years of research, to match couples has been based on traits and personality patterns of successful heterosexual marriages. Nothing precludes us from providing same-sex matching in the future. It's just not a service we offer now based upon the research we have conducted," eHarmony said in a statement. Carlson's lawyer Todd Schneider said the lawsuit was "about changing the landscape and making a statement out there that gay people, just like heterosexuals, have the right and desire to meet other people with whom they can fall in love." I surely hope Schneider, Carlson and all the others joining the class action suit win. I hope they win pots of money in damages. Of course Warren is anti-gay. The Evangelical movement is anti-gay. James Dobson is anti-gay. All those nasty little holier-than-you-and-your-mother religious-right fanatics are anti-gay. But I also hope the Carlson lawsuit wins because a lawsuit against 73-year-old Neil Clark Warren for being a far-right religious fanatic with a bad eye-and-jowl lift, a phony smile and an annoying ad campaign would never get anywhere.


parsimonious said...

I have the same reaction to his physically hurts me now to hear his voice.

To me, his visage reminds me of funeral directors.

Jon said...

This was such an ugly, hate filled rant. We should all try to be a little more inclusive. Picking on an individuals physical frailties, deformities and handicaps is just SO hateful and ugly. Yes, Ugly and hateful and hatefilled. And not just ugly but VERY ugly. A little less rancor here please. More love and kindness. Group hug.

Dr. Warren's area of expertise is in heterosexual relationships. If he tried to match gays and lesbians on his "29 personality traits" (or is it 40?) it's conceivable that Bull Dikes might end up with Fem Men. I'm certainly not saying this would happen but merely implying that it could. Dr. Warren might still be sued by the slip and fall lawyers for hot being able to create matches made in heaven (or hell for that matter). They might reasonably argue that none of his research and expertise involves gays; thereby leading to some very strange and "unusual" matchups.

These lawsuits are only going give the trial lawyers orgasms not the gays and lesbians. As in almost all class action suits and settlements, the plaintiffs get very little while the slip and fall trial lawyers get the big bucks.

If they want true love they might be better off going to a public bath house rather than an online dating service.

Love and Peace. Group Hug.

Anonymous said...

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puhlease said...

I understand that eHarmony may not have the expertise to match gays and lesbians. But why is all the fuss garnered on them? I've had a terrible experience as have many others in the mathces they do provide to heterosexual people. There is no correlation to the profiles we provide, when we try to unsubscribe to the service and all we get is charged over and over again for services that aren't provided and no one, that I've been able to find, is willing to take on a class-action suit against them for the fraudulent nature of their billing and the "service" they are supposed to provide.

It seems to me that unless you belong to the currently fashionable group of minorities no one wants to listen or help with a problem.

Not even the media have been willing to listen and they claim to be "Problem Solvers"!