Sunday, September 24, 2006

Here’s a Scenario I REALLY Love!

I don’t usually pass along rumors, unless of course it’s about George Bush being drunk or gay, or drunk and gay, or about Condi being a dominatrix, or about Cheney being threatened with a gun. (By the way, did I tell you that one? That Henry Whittington was going to shoot Cheney and put the US out of its misery and that’s why Cheney shot him? I didn’t tell you that? My mistake.) Anyway, here’s a shout I just read on BuzzFlash that I am prepared to believe down to my toes. “Reports of Osama's Death May be Too Premature for Rove. Karl Doesn't Care if He Died of Typhus, But Rove Then Needed People Not to Know, So He Could Send in An Army Squad to Pretend They Had a Shoot Out with Osama's Guards. Then They'd Spray Some Bullets Into Osama's Body That Had Been Kept on Ice, and Bush Would Triumphantly Arrive in a Helicopter That He "Flew in" to View the Body, Wearing His "Mission Accomplished" Cod Piece GI Joe Outfit. 9/24” Oh yummy! Wouldn’t that have been great? Karl must be so disappointed. When you think about the bogus crap the Bush administration gave out about Zarqawi’s death last June, this scenario about Osama’s body being kept on ice until the right moment when US soldiers could be filmed spraying bullets at it, followed by Bush doing his wow finish wearing a GI Joe costume, sounds just right. If you remember, the initial news coverage about Zarqawi reported that he was killed in a US “precision airsstrike” when two 500-pound bombs were dropped on his house near Baqouba, Iraq. First, he was killed instantly. Then he wasn’t killed instantly, he lived after the airstrike. Then he not only lived after being hit by two 500-pound bombs, he said a few words. Then he tried to run away after he said a few words. Then it was reported that US soldiers beat the crap out of him after he said a few words, after he tried to run away, after he was hit by two 500-pound bombs. Then he was put on a gurney for medical treatment. However, after heroic measures to save his life, he died alas and George W. Bush got to intone that Zarqawi’s death "is a severe blow to Al Qaeda and it is a significant victory in the war on terror." Which, of course, it wasn’t. The movie of the “The Killing of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi” was written, produced, directed and filmed by the independent White House production team and film school headed by Karl Rove. Rove had written, produced, directed and filmed a short teaser the previous May featuring Zarqawi. Unfortunately, that little video was a dud because the Zarqawi look-alike appeared to be standing in a desert in the US and someone had to show him how to operate a gun. In any case, the current fad in government-run film schools seems to be to bring leaders back from the dead. Castro, for instance. Resurrections are not that difficult these days. You have the leader get sick, lose weight, become unrecognizable, then you bring in a clone to rise up from a sick bed and Bob’s your uncle. What the White House film school will do now to resurrect Osama is anybody’s guess. Dying from typhus is a tough act to follow and whatever they come up with will be very anti-climatic. Resurrecting people just to kill them seems so joyless and mean-spirited. Nevermind. I’ll suspend my disbelief just to get to see the Prez decked out again as a World War II flying ace when he proclaims victory over…whatever he’ll claim victory over as he takes credit for killing Osama. Oh, and the codpiece accouterment. Yes indeedy. What a treat! Bring it on, Georgie! Let’s hear it for Donkeyboy Devil George. There He Is, Mister America!


Barry Schwartz said...

Be careful about the Rove paranoia. He has you convinced he’s better than he is. Next he will be responsible for the orbits of the planets.

The military doesn’t need Rove’s assistance in making up stories. They’ve been making up stories like these since before Karl Rove was born. It is the stuff of M*A*S*H, the television series. Rove might be involved, he might not be; there is nothing in the style of it to indicate either way.

And Osama bin Laden is not dead. And neither is Fidel Castro--not yet, anyway. He’s very sick, however. He’ll turn up dead before long. On the other hand, I said that about Darryl Strawberry a decade ago. And the news will indeed be released by degrees, if Cuba is anything like the Soviet Union, where the leaders tended to die from a severe cold.

The October Surprise is likely, as Gary Hart noted at Huffington Post, an attack on Iran. Worry about that, because it means the attack will be thorough enough only to get the GOP within stealing distance of the election, or to outright ‘win’ it.

Anonymous said...

Yes the big O is on ice, but he is not dead.

He is probably in a very cold secret CIA 'we dont call this torture' refrigrator.

You just have to connect the dots....
September 4th - Pakistan announced a deal with the tribes in the Waziristan part of Pakistan.
In the deal Islamabad give the tribes autonomy, the Pakistani troops will withdraw from that part of Pakistan and the Tribes will take over, and retain their weapons.

THE BURNING QUESTION IS - What thing of value did the tribes give Islamabad in return ????

Then we learn that on Friday Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf, flew to Washington to meet President Bush "to discuss security in the region."

Then Porter Gross says : "I have an excellent idea of where he is."

What would you bet he is on ice, but alive, in a very cold room in a CIA secret prison?

ISLAMABAD — The Pakistani authorities and the pro-Taliban tribesmen in the north Waziristan region bordering Afghanistan signed a “permanent peace agreement” yesterday to end their six-year-old confrontation. The agreement was negotiated with tribal representatives and signed by the two sides at a Jirga (traditional tribal council) in Miranshah, the administrative centre of the turbulent region.

Under the agreement, the Pakistani army would stop its ground and air operations while the “foreign” militants in the area and their local supporters would undertake not to launch raids across the border or attack Pakistani forces and installations. Pakistani troops would be withdrawn from the new checkpoints they had established in the area and old posts would be manned by local militia only. Tribesmen would retain their traditional right to bear arms.

To me it sounds like Pakistan gave up authority over part of Pakistan, agreed to withdraw Pakistani troops from Pakistani soil, and yet apart from both sides agreeing not to attack each other or their neighbors, I don't see what the tribes from the Wazirinstan zone gave up.... Oh yes, the Big O... some one very valuable to Bush in October and that the Pakistanis could trade to bush in return for arms to fight India.