Now It Takes 72 Hours to Reprogram the BushBot

On the morning of the 9/11 attacks it took nine minutes for the White House to alter the Bushmaton so that it would stop staring into space while second-graders read to it at the Emma Booker elementary school in Sarasota, FL. Having been awakened from its WH-induced coma, the robot was then allowed to advise the world of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. But it took seventy-two hours for the Bush replicate to respond to the mounting death toll caused by the earthquake/tsunamis in the Indian Ocean on December 26th. WH aides said the US response was not immediate because the White House was “trying to understand the magnitude of the tragedy and to plan a recovery effort” . Uh-huh. Let me ask you, at the moment you heard 15,000 people had been killed by tsunamis in the Indian Ocean, which was less than 24 hours after it happened, did you have to do complicated calculations to understand that the tragedy was humongous? It was Tuesday before the WH decided the disaster qualified as a by-God “tragedy”. Finally, it was announced that the US would offer up a scant, paltry, tight-fisted $15,000,000 in aid. By Wednesday the latest miserly donation from the Bush administration was being viewed with a hairy eyeball. So the official White House liar and apologist Colin Powell was summoned to say that the amount would be upped to $35,000,000. Eventually, the Bushmaton was roused and reprogrammed at the Crawford Ranch and belatedly declared the United States had a plan for conveying the feeling of "loss and grief to the world that is beyond our comprehension." Right...$35,000,000 to people whose loss and grief is beyond the White House comprehension. Okay...to get some perspective on what the White House finds comprehensible, Crunchland.com has crunched the numbers for us. As of October 2004, the WH had already spent $79,000,000,000 billion (BILLION!) on the war in Iraq. And it intends to spend $87,000,000,000 billion (BILLION!) more. Which adds up to $166,000,000,000 billion (BILLION!). Crunchland.com’s graphics and computations show us that “One-Hundred-Sixty-Six Billion dollars is a pile of money 500 feet long at its longest point, which is quite a bit longer than an American football field. The roof opening of the Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas, is 500 feet long. This pile of money is still 100 feet tall, and 125 feet wide. If you stacked the bills in a single column, it would be 55,333,200 feet tall, or almost 10,500 miles, or 1.68 times the distance between Washington DC and Baghdad, Iraq.” This incomprehensible amount of cash cannot be understood or envisioned by a normal human being without the aid of explanation and graphics. But this incomprehensible amount of money is a sum which the White House and the Bushmaton can comprehend and understand. The loss and grief occasioned by a natural disaster which has killed over 100,000 people (and more will be reported dead as time passes)...is beyond their comprehension. So they are committing $35,000,000 toward the lives of survivors of the worst natural disaster in the memory of mankind. The American voters who empowered a drug-dependent alcoholic failure to ostensibly run the country, while empowering a gang of White House fascists and the Carlyle Group to in fact run the country, and who sponsored another bogus election have much to answer for. When the Bushmaton stands before the world on January 20 and is confirmed as President of the United States, watch the face, watch the jaw. Will he flawlessly mouth the words given him by the White House gang, or will he twitch and grimace, and show the tics of a mood-enhanced religious zealot who is out of his depth? When will he break down in front of millions? Will it be this TV performance? The next one? In a year? On one thing you can bet the rent. The WH has made plans for the melt-down. Have 50% of the voters in the US who elected this drugged-up moron made plans?