Friday, May 16, 2008

John McCain is Certifiable

McCain has been told to distance himself from the Prez because Bush is the worst and most unpopular President ever to have been foisted on the American public. And also because Bush is insane. One way the insane McCain is distancing himself from the insane Prez is by setting a date when the US will be out of Iraq, which Crazy George would never do. Yesterday, Crazy John said that the war in Iraq will have been won (WON! As in VICTORY IS OURS!) by 2013. Not only that, in what has been called “a mystical speech” McCain said that by 2013 Osama bin Laden will be dead or captured, al-Qaeda will have been defeated, Iraq will be functioning on its own, Afghanistan will be shut of the Taliban, and Americans will have the choice of simply paying a flat tax or using form 1040. I have a few prophesies of my own. By 2013, John McCain will be 77 and will be incapacitated by his physical maladies or dead from cancer. In any case, he will have been committed to a loony bin for the hopelessly insane. Nothing will have changed in Iraq, and if our troops are still in Iraq they will still be being killed for no good reason, Afghanistan will still be in the drug trade from which the US will be profiting, as it is now and nothing will have changed. The IRS will be doing business about the same way it is doing business today. Bin Laden will be dead from his physical maladies and he never was captured. The US will be coming up on the second term of a Democratic president under a Democratic administration who will be doing its level best to undo the disasters and criminal acts the Republicans visited on the United States from 2000 through 2008. Oh. And George W. Bush will be drinking and using drugs openly and on a monumental scale. The Bush family and the Secret Service will try to keep him out of sight and will be mostly successful except when he occasionally escapes and causes a ruckus.

1 comment:

Barry Schwartz said...

I think he gets SS protection only for 10 years, so the SS guys will get a reprieve after that.

They changed it when we still had an actual president, I think.