My Mean-Spirited and Biased Hope and Prayer

The Foley scandal has given the pious, loftier-than-God folks a chance to exhibit their exalted moral superiority over us lesser types. At the wags who make jokes about the sexual predilections and peccadilloes of Congressmen, the sanctimonious prigs intone there is nothing funny about Representaive Mark Foley trolling for sex partners among the Congressional pages. At the political party spinners, the self-righteous twits tsk-tsk that no one should use the Senator’s downward spiral as political fodder. At those who can’t read enough about the values-flaunting Republican Party being in trouble over SEX, the holier-than-thou faction sniffs that the Foley crisis isn’t entertainment because children are sacrosanct. Okay. Fair enough. However, this post is for the rest of us. I just read that there may be a Florida Scientology link with Florida’s Representative Mark Foley. Oh could this possibly be true? Oh happy day! Please God, make it so!! The news that would catapult me into prejudiced and slanted heaven would be to find out that a man-boy (or at the very least a gay young man/older man) guild exists in the right-wing values-preaching Republican Party in Congress. I’m reading every scrap of news about Mark Foley in the hope that George W. Bush will be found to be a closet whatever. I wouldn’t care what. If this Foley mess turned up news that the Bush family is involved with Opus Dei and that they flagellate themselves into frenzied delirium every morning, I would give a shriek of glee. Or maybe the Prez (and his Florida-Gov brother) will be found to be Scientology converts. Yummiola! So yes, it would please me if Speaker Dennis Hastert, Majority Leader John Boehnr, Illinois Representative John Shimkus and House clerk, Jeff Trandahl, are all lying through their teeth and that they knew exactly what was going on. And I would be thrilled into a Sixth Happiness if the probe found George W. Bush not only knew but applauded Foley’s hobby. There you have it. That’s my fantasy. So sue me.