And the Big News Is…

A New York Times headline this morning reports “Fidel Castro Says He's Lost 41 Pounds” According to the NYT, Castro reported that the last stitches from his recent surgery for an intestinal operation were recently removed. Castro said, “I can affirm that the most critical moment has been left behind.” He soon would be meeting with “dignitaries”, he said. But “images would not necessarily be provided.” He warned his recovery could be lengthy. “All of us must also understand realistically that the complete recovery time, whether we like it or not, will be prolonged…at this moment I am not in a hurry, and no one should be in a hurry.” Recent photos purporting to be Fidel Castro have shown a tall, gaunt, bearded man. What do you suppose they did with the body of the real Fidel Castro? How many people do you think are in on this charade? Twenty? Thirty? It’s only going to get funnier and funnier. Speaking of funny. Yesterday, president Bush said, "History teaches that underestimating the words of evil and ambitious men is a terrible mistake." Oh my! How true! Unfortunately, the Prez was not having a rare moment of clarity about himself. He was comparing bin Laden with Lenin and Hitler at a speech he gave to the Military Officers Association of America. Bin Laden now is like Lenin? Oh well, consider the source. Funnier: Yes indeed, the hugely absurd Katherine Harris easily won the GOP Senate primary yesterday, so she’ll be running against Democrat Senator Bill Nelson in November--an uphill battle for Miss Flirty-flirty if ever there was one. And funniest: A few weeks ago BuzzFlash posted an item from “US News and World Report” that had been underreported. An article called “Washington Whispers” said that our Prez loves flatulence jokes. “A top insider let that slip”, the article said, “when explaining why President Bush is paranoid around women, always worried about his behavior. But he's still a funny, earthy guy who, for example, can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides.” And now your prayers have been asnwered. You can get your very own “Farting George Bush Doll - The Pull My Finger President”. A BuzzFlash review of the doll says, "Not only does he fart, he sings and shakes too! Standing over 8" tall, pull the Commander-in-Chiefs finger and he'll shake, fart and say 7 wacky phrases and a fart song in the off-beat tradition of our great leader." There you have it. The top news stories of the day.