Rumsfeld’s Iced Underwear

Cannonfire’s Joe Cannon has a link today to a post by Martin Random that ran on the Awful Forums blog. Claiming to have insider White House info, Random says the Prez and his anti-depressant addiction have rendered him impotent and that Rumsfeld has to wear iced underwear to alleviate his uncontrollable long-term erections. So you read it and chuckle. And you think about all the shenanigans and preposterous stuff the White House has pulled since 2000, and the allegations don’t seem that fanciful. I mean, Cheney probably does fart all the time and have horrific bad breath. And the dick probably was dead drunk when he shot Harry Whittington. And maybe there was a half-ton block of cheese sealed in a room in the White House for 30 years. Even the Tom Ridge stuff is possible. Maybe right-side-out socks do frighten him. Maybe he is paranoid about being poisoned. Maybe he is terrified of animals with hair longer than one-inch. It could happen. Because how crazy is it that doctors would put ice in Rumsfeld’s knickers when Sy Hersh tells us that the Bush administration has plans to nuke Iran? What’s more unbelievable? That the White House has decided the way for the US to control all the oil in the Middle East is to drop nuclear bombs on the countries that protest? Or that the man who claims nuclear warfare is safe wears icewater panties? There is a point where Martin Random does go too far though. That’s when he says Condi Rice is completely balanced and normal. Come on, Mr. White House Insider, we weren’t born yesterday.