Beck Is a Scientologist? Oh No!

Was anyone else surprised last night when Steven Colbert announced in his This Week in God segment on The Daily Show that rocker Beck is a Scientologist? Well, I must say, I plotzed. Now it’s old news that when Greta van Susteren was on CNN and before she bought her new face she was the go-to Scientology person. But BECK? And then I got another shock. While googling Beck I found out that Jenna and Bohdi Elfman are Scientologists. Bohdi Elfman is composer Danny Elfman’s brother. And Jenna…well, who doesn’t know that Jenna is Dharma. I admit, there is a certain attractiveness about a religion that says it can pronounce a person “Clear”. That is, free of all hang-ups and attachments. For instance, Beck’s wife Marissa Ribisi is Clear. Buddha and Jesus are only “slightly above” clear. And get this. You can be better than Buddha and Jesus. You can get to be “OT”, as in, an Operating Thetan. When you achieve that state, the one above Jesus and Buddha, you can leave your body and mind and “see, hear, and feel without access” to your normal senses. Back in the 70’s when I was in Oscar Ichazo’s weird cult, Arica, we would do our yoga exercises and eat our pure food and get high on really good grass, and we would laugh at L. Ron Hubbard’s weird cult, Scientology. We didn’t know too much about it, but we did know that he started it as a joke. And then seeing his gag had all the potential of being a mega-money-machine, L.Ron decided he’d been in error, it wasn’t a joke, it was real. Back then, the E-Meters, which, according to the Scientology site, are used “to locate areas of spiritual distress or travail”, were basically two tin cans and a string. E-Meters or Eletro-psychometers probably have become a little more technoid by now. E-Meters ferret out engrams. Engrams are psychic scars. So you get “audited” (back in the day, that meant you held a tin can in each hand) and the E-Meters show when you feel stressed. The point being: to remove engrams and thence to “progress from being "preclear" (PC) to "clear;" i.e. totally free of engrams.” It's certainly clear to me that van Susteren's obsession to be a Paula Zahn clone by getting work done up the yazoo, and Tom Cruise's recent meltdown on every TV show on the planet, probably are indications that they are pre-preclear. How does being audited lead to being clear? I guess you have to join the club to find out. But, I’m told by my sources, that Scientology’s stranglehold over members is that during auditing a person reveals every wart, every peccadillo, every sin big and small, every vice, every lust, every perversion, fetish, even…dare we say it?...every abominiation. And from that point, they gotcha…for life. The Roman Catholic Church boasts that if they get a kid at the age of six, they have him forever. Scientology needs only get your audit on tape. So…you have to know…van Susteren, Beck, Cruise, Travolta, the Elfmans, the Fat Actress Whatsername, Chick Corea, Priscilla Presley and all the other Scientology devotees revealed ALL, and I mean ALL to their auditors. Oh yeah! Gotcha forever! Don’t even think about leaving…there’s that little incriminating tape.