What’s New?

Well, certainly nothing new in the Bush administration. And nothing new in Iraq. As Lou Dobbs made clear on A Daily Show last night, there's nothing new in the political arena—the pollsters and pundits are already making unfounded and rash predictions about the outcomes of the next primary caucuses. Nothing new in Ron Paul’s campaign for president--he’s acting like the idiot he can't help being with regard to the racial bigotry in the Ron Paul Newsletter during the 80’s and 90’s--he says he didn’t write it and didn’t read it. Nothing new about William Kristol—he just turned 55 and is as smug, smirky and arrogant about being a vicious snide little autocrat as he was twenty years ago. So, since there is nothing new in the news, you might as well read the New York Times review by Michael Wilson of the new public toilet near 23rd and Madison in NYC (“Greetings, Earthlings, Your New Restroom Is Ready”)--the first of 20 planned new public toilets in NYC. It sounds like the perfect ruse to entice fools like Kristol and Ron Paul into permanent flushdom and off the earth. I envision Public Service Flushlets every five blocks in large cities. With all those colored buttons available in the new facility in Manhattan, surely they can be outfitted with asshole-to-mass-hole sensors. The only clue would be when someone asks: “Have you seen Newt Gingrich lately?” And the answer is: “No. The last time I saw him he was heading for a Public Service Flushlet.”