Another Let Me Get This Straight

The Postal Workers practiced an emergency drill today. The postal workers were rehearsing the delivery of pharmaceuticals to people who would need them in case of a biological or chemical attack. Now let me get this straight. Those people who started the phrase “going postal” when they committed mayhem over their work conditions, the people they had to work with, and the people they had to serve, are going to go out into the hazardous air during a biological or chemical attack and hand-deliver medications? Of all the crazy ideas to come out of Homeland Security, this is the wackiest. In Philadelphia, the postal workers did their drill in three neighborhoods and we were treated to TV coverage on how they were doing. Well, first, those little fake boxes didn’t fit in some mail boxes (in which case they will be left on the doorstep...um...how does the person who isn’t supposed to open his door going to get it? But nevermind). And second, the postal workers were not wearing hazmat suits. So it was hardly a reasonable drill. How would they fare in heat or cold or rain or snow or dead of night in hazmat gear? After all, if the attack is bio or chemical the whole body has to be covered or they're screwed. But I must say, I doubt these couriers would complete their appointed rounds during an attack of pigeon droppings. And I absolutely doubt that anyone in the postal service would risk his/her life to get me my drugs during a bio or chemical attack. I wonder if they'll be issued hazmat gear or if they’ve been instructed to wrap themselves in plastic sheeting and duct tape?