What’s With Bush’s Hands?

I think I know, my fellow citizens. And by the way, Franklin Delano Roosevelt plotzed in his grave when he heard the White House moron paraphrase his “My Fellow Americans”, but I digress. I’m sure they pulled the camera back last night and showed the Prez moving his hands and making meaningless gestures in the hopes we would be distracted and not listen to the nonsense coming out of his mouth. His Anusness spoke for 15-1/2 minutes. The White House must have figured that’s all he needed to talk his way out of the three-year hell he’s put the world through in Iraq and to put a smiley face on the whole mess in time for Christmas. Wrong. And I’ll tell you why: On the first day of Christmas the President gave to us Some garbage in a trashcan. On the second day of Christmas the President gave to us Two broken laws And some garbage in a trashcan. On the third day of Christmas the President gave to us Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trashcan. On the fourth day of Christmas the President gave to us Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trashcan. On the fifth day of Christmas the President gave to us Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trashcan. On the sixth day of Christmas the President gave to us Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trashcan. On the seventh day of Christmas the President gave to us Seven cheating kinfolk Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trash can. On the eighth day of Christmas the President gave to us Eight male hookers Seven cheating kinfolk Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trash can. On the ninth day of Christmas the President gave to us Nine hackers hacking Eight male hookers Seven cheating kinfolk Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trash can. On the tenth day of Christmas the President gave to us Ten perjured experts Nine hackers hacking Eight male hookers Seven cheating kinfolk Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trash can. On the eleventh day of Christmas the President gave to us Eleven jailed lawyers Ten perjured experts Nine hackers hacking Eight male hookers Seven cheating kinfolk Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trash can. On the twelfth day of Christmas the President gave to us Twelve indicted cronies Eleven jailed lawyers Ten perjured experts Nine hackers hacking Eight male hookers Seven cheating kinfolk Six judges lying Five corrupt scribes Four monstrous lies Three dumb plans Two broken laws And some garbage in a trash can. So Merry Christmas me not, George. And you should find a better place for your empties. I found them in that trashcan.